Through Darkness and Light

"I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things." Isaiah 45:7

Bad things happen to good people every day. Hard-working men and women lose their jobs through no fault of their own. Beloved parents and friends get stricken with cancer and face the frightening prospect of a tough battle with an uncertain outcome. The bliss of pregnancy ends prematurely with the shattering heartbreak of miscarriage. And in our pain and anguish, we cry out the only question there is...why? Why would a God that loves us allow bad things to happen?

Sometimes, a door is closed so another can open. Sometimes, we share desperately needed words of encouragement because we know what that pain feels like. Sometimes, hearts are softened and eyes are opened to the truth of a Savior.

Sometimes, we live our entire lives without ever knowing an answer to why things happen beyond the fact that "we live in a fallen world".

Whether good or bad, whether joys or sorrows, as I walk this path led by faith, I know only this...There is nothing that touches my life that hasn't passed through God's hands first. Through darkness and light, I will praise Him. 

Will you join me?

Seven and Three are Magic Numbers

My excellent Twitter and Homeschool Lounge friend Shawntele decided to tag me in a Seven Things (Almost) Nobody Knows About Me meme.  Guess that means it's time to spill the beans about myself.  Let's see...what things don't you already know about me?

1.  I very, very rarely wear jewelry (beyond my wedding and engagement ring).  It's been so long since I wore earrings, the holes have closed.

2.  I'm extremely chicken about trying my hand at new skills.  My husband bought me a sewing machine three years ago, and I've still never used it.  (I really need to get over that!)

3.  I'm very competitive, but I've learned how to lose graciously.  (Being a Chiefs fan will do that to you.) 

4.  I was accepted and offered scholarships to five different colleges, but never went to a single one.

5.  I taught myself to read music and play piano at age four, but I can not improvise.

6.  I also know how to play the trumpet, though I haven't touched one since high school.

7.  I love jazz, especially the older stuff like Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Vince Guaraldi (the guy that did the "Peanuts" music.)  My all-time favorite is a man most people don't recognize by name but know the words to a lot of his songs. His name is Bob Dorough, and he wrote a bunch of songs like this:




Do you recognize him now? Were you singing along? And did you learn anything new about me?

Crying Out

I got the news yesterday about my dad. After all this time of following doctors' orders, taking whatever treatments they would offer him, constant visits and tests to monitor whether the cancer in his liver was growing and being told he's doing great, everything's fine...yeah, everything's fine. Meanwhile, it's gone to his hip and weakened the bones so much he fractured it rolling over in bed. And oh, by the way, we didn't bother to tell you that you've had cancer on rib #1 but we're telling you now because it's spread down to #6.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?! What the hell is wrong with these people?!? How do you NOT tell someone that they've got cancer on their ribs?!? How do you just completely ignore that fact, offer NO treatments whatsoever and act like it's just not there?!? Do you give a flip that THIS IS MY FATHER'S LIFE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH!?!?!?! I already know the answer to that one, and it's a big fat NO, you couldn't possibly care less because he's just some poor, old man who's lived his life. Why waste the time and resources on a 69-year old man on Social Security, right? BECAUSE HE'S A HUMAN BEING, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOTS! Because it's supposed to be your job to do everything in your means to save lives, not HIDE THE TRUTH FOR TWO YEARS! Did you think it would upset him too much to know, or were you just hoping he'd die before anyone found out? Seriously???

I. Hate. Doctors.

I probably shouldn't publish this, but I'm going to. I know this isn't God-honoring or Christ-centered, and I'll be on my knees asking forgiveness at some point. I know I should be thankful that I've got time to prepare, that I was fortunate enough to have that precious time last November with him here, and I am. But right now, I'm just angry. Angry, hurt and crying out to God for sense and reason in all this.

Bouncy Fun Time

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I've finally started exercising again. (Shout out to my daughter for being my accountability partner...keep rockin' it, Rachel!) So far, I've been doing forty minutes of pilates/yoga daily and I've got to admit it's not been pretty. Bad enough that I haven't exercised regularly for over two years...

Wait, that can't be right. Hang on a sec while I figure this up.

Ok, the baby was born in '09, so she'll be...wow, eighteen months already? Add another nine months while I was pregnant (because really, that little bit of "pregnant yoga" doesn't count) and that's...carry the one...twenty-seven months?!?

Oh for heaven's sake...no wonder I'm out of shape.

Anyway, the important thing is that I'm doing something about it now, right? Right. But can I just say that this pilates/yoga thing is whippin' the snot out of me? Ouch. Doing it as overweight as I am is one thing. But remember that nasty spill I took last fall that messed up my arm? Not. Helping.

And I've never even told you about the time I pulled a leg muscle in my sleep. Don't ask.

After curling into the fetal position and bawling my eyes out collapsing in a heap of pain finishing up yesterday, I started wondering if there isn't anything else I could be doing instead of this torturous workout regimen (at least until some of my muscles finish healing)?

So my husband went and bought me this...

I'm so excited! I don't have room for a treadmill and I get bored on exercise bikes, but this? It's going to be so much fun!

And I can already see how this can be used to help, shall we say, motivate certain children around here. "Want to jump on the trampoline? Have you picked up your toys yet?"

Mwahahahahahaha.....

What can I say? I'm all about multi-purposes. *wink*


Sidenote: I want to thank everyone for the valuable input about home management notebooks.  I've made my decision and will be sharing the results with you soon.  (I'm really excited about it, and I think you'll like it too...Be sure to come back and find out!)

In Pursuit of the Perfect Planner

As I mentioned the other day, I've been trying to put together a Home Management notebook.  With all the things I have to keep track of these days (homeschool, farm expenditures, canning supplies, menus, etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseaum) I've come to the realization that there isn't enough caffeine in the world to help my brain keep up I could use some help.  I've read a lot of other moms sing the praises of their notebooks, so I figure it's time to give it a try.

Ironically, I received two different emails this morning regarding this very thing.  After looking them both over, I'm coming to the conclusion that it might save me from pulling my hair out be a wiser use of my time to simply purchase a pre-made notebook rather than go through the trouble of putting one together myself.  (Naturally I'll be tweaking whatever I get to suit my own needs.  Babysitter info?  Sorry, it's just not part of my reality. Those pages go straight to the burn bin.)

But I could really use your help.  See, I'm one of those "stationery junkies"...I love notebooks, journals, calendars and whatnot.  And (confession time), I'm a tight-wad.  As easy as it would be to shell out untold sums of money for every pretty notebook that catches my fancy, I can't bear the thought of plunking down my hubby's hard-earned income on something that's going to get used for two days and then shelved.  So it would be deeply appreciated if you, Dear Reader, could give me some advice.

Here are the two planners I received emails about this morning.  First, the momAgenda, a favorite of "blog moms" everywhere.  They're stylish, functional, and come with a list of free printables for more personalization.  Right now, they're 35% off.

Second is The Well-Planned Day from Home Educating Family Publishing.  I know scores of homeschool moms that swear by their products.  The bundle packages come with a planner and zippered three-ring binder with plenty of room for storage and expansion.  Currently, they're 20% off with free shipping.

Have you used either of these planners?  Or is there a different system out there you're using that meets your needs?  What do you recommend?

*For the record, I'm neither affiliated with momAgenda or Home Educating Family Publishing nor am I plugging either one's products.  These just happen to be the two that I received emails about.  I'm very open to hearing about any home-organization system that works.  Thanks!

WW - Short and Sassy

My three-year old daughter (alternately known as The Princess or The Diva, depending on her temperament of the moment) has already displayed a remarkable talent for being able to style almost any look.

As you can see, she's wearing one of Daddy's ties, hot pink socks and her big sister's shoes. And she's workin' it. Should I be surprised, then, that after I accidentally cut her hair a LOT shorter than I meant to, she still comes out looking totally fab?

She has the sass to pull it off.  And she knows it.

Better Intentions

I'm embarrassed that it's already the 10th of January and this is just now my first post of the year. I had better intentions than this. I thought this was the year I'd turn things around and stop looking like such a slacker about everything. But then we all got hit with a stomach bug. Instead of spending January 1st in a flurry of home-organization like I'd intended, I ended up comforting sick children and eventually catching the vile illness myself. And my dear, sweet husband never let on that he had it too until I was finally over the worst of it. He pampered me and nursed me without showing a sign that he was sick as a dog himself. Does it get more loving and devoted than that?

I told myself it was just a minor setback. No reason to think an entire year is blown just because the first week went down the toilet. (Pun intended? You be the judge.) I figured that once I got the mess picked back up (how sick kids can still have the energy to turn every room into a disaster area is beyond me) everything would be right as rain.

What happened after that? Well.....life. It was time to get our seeds started, so I spent a day rearranging our sunroom/dining room into a greenhouse. My three-year old daughter, the lone hold-out, finally decided to join in on PukeFest '11 almost a week after everyone else was done with it. (And why do kids always wait until the middle of the night to get sick? In all my years of parenting, I've yet to discover the answer to that particular mystery.) And if that wasn't enough to de-rail me, the laptop I was just starting to get used to typing on went and died on me. Now I'm back to sitting in the office to use my trusty desktop. (Word to the wise: Acers are terrible laptops. I didn't buy it, my dad did, and I would've stopped him from buying it if I'd known.) And since I have to keep the door closed to prevent little ones from coming in and wreaking havoc with the bookshelves and filing cabinet, and our heat comes from a woodstove in the living room, it gets cold in here. Ever type much with cold fingers? Not. Fun.

And so, I've been wondering...is God trying to tell me something? I believe He is. I don't know the entire lesson He has for me yet, and knowing God the way I do I expect this will take longer than simply a week or a month. It's probably going to be an all-year thing (because, you know, I'm just thick-headed that way.) Judging from the past ten days, I think God is leading me down a path of learning some amazing things. Control is one that comes to mind, as if anything beyond my own attitudes and reactions was mine to control in the first place. Faithfulness is another. Not the kind of faithfulness as if I would ever turn away from God, but faithfulness to press on against setbacks. I admit, I've always been the kind to give up on things if they don't come easily. I can't tell you the number of things (and sadly, relationships) I've given up on or let fall by the wayside over the years because it was easier to let it go then press on against the obstacles. Not exactly a desirable trait for a farmer's wife, homeschool mom, or Christian, is it?

I expect there will be more unexpected surprises in store over the course of the next twelve months. (Lord willing, none of them will involve any more vomiting, thankyouverymuch.) I'm still going to work on re-establishing my organizational prowess. I'm slowly putting together a Home Notebook I've been toying with for too long, and Hubs wants me to create some farm-related spreadsheets to track expenditures, income and such. (Time to dust off my bookkeeping skills from my banker's days.) But one thing I've already learned is this: No matter how good my intentions are, God's are better.

Maybe I won't be such a slow learner this time.